Together apart - managing generational differences without breaking up
By David Pullar |
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Clash of the generations
A benefit of different denominations and churches is that people can find a place that “suits” them, in terms of the style of culture and format, as well as theology. Unfortunately there are still tensions in needs and preferences within churches.
 My church is a vibrant, exciting place to be a young person. Despite the inevitable imperfections of a church made up of people, there is a real sense of community and a shared vision to see people come to know Christ. There has been such growth and such change that our evening service (largely inhabited by 15-30 year olds) has almost become a separate congregation – it’s certainly large enough to be one – and there is a strong push to differentiate from the morning services in terms of format, music and teaching focus.
Two questions arise in this situation – do we need to remain part of the wider communion; and, if so, how do we manage this? How can we grow together?
Why remain together?
I believe there are definite benefits to young people remaining in communion with older people and not just so parents save on trips to drop off and collect their teens.
Older people provide a model of what Christian adulthood looks like and can provide the wisdom and guidance of having invented the wheel once before. Young people have a fervour and a willingness to try new things that inspire those around them to be responsive to God’s call and prompting.
I have seen congregations solely made up of young people become more insular and self-involved - the focus shifts to experience and thrills rather than growth and maturity. In the same way, congregations can become staid and passionless in the absence of young people.
A model for change
One common response to this tension is to aim straight for the middle; or a sort of weighted average, where the biggest or most influential group has a bigger say. This usually ends up pleasing no-one: the retirees find the music too loud; the parents find the sermons too superficial; the youth are bored and often duck outside for most of the service; and the young adults leave to find a new church.
A variant of this model throws in the occasional “youth service”, where the young people take over. The music is a bit louder than usual and the sermon is peppered with allusions to TV shows and movies. They might even have a clip from “Braveheart” or “Dead Poets Society”.
My ideal model is one where we can explore the uniqueness of age-groups in different services, but be unified on the things that matter.
The essentials
What features should constitute a church? A look at the early church tends to yield a couple of key points:
- teaching
- worship
- mission
- community and encouragement
All the early churches spent time together; saw to it that each was growing in understanding and faith; spent time praising God; and reached out to the community. These features can define not only how groups within a church should relate but also how different churches should relate as the Church, the people of God.
Teaching is relatively easily dealt with. A church can set a plan to teach the people what God has placed on the leadership’s heart, a common direction for the church. This is then communicated in light of different learning styles. Today’s youth tend to prefer stories of personal experience and application of scripture to real life. Our parents learn in a different way, and their parents in another. It doesn’t matter as long as the message is the same and we are moving in the same direction – God’s.
Worship is tricky because most people don’t know what it means and this is precisely the problem. The music used and the volume at which it is played are irrelevant if God’s people are not using the time to hear from him and give him praise. The leadership should focus on getting the congregation to commune with God in a way that is meaningful, rather than a routine or a performance. Then, and only then, can you choose the songs or other means that suit each congregation and best allow people to meet with God. Over time you may even find that everyone cares less about the music or video presentation, because your hearts will be more focused on God.
Mission is something that can and should be shared by all. While people are most comfortable reaching to their own demographic, I have seen 14 year old girls sharing God’s love in nursing homes in an amazing way. Age need not be a barrier. There is still a place for age-specific events, but we should look for opportunities to serve together. The easiest place is in loving the community in practical ways. Love and service are universal languages. An 80 year old and an 18 year old can both perform the same act of compassion and be understood.
Deep bonds and relationships can be forged on the mission field; the kind of deep and honest friendships that we need to encourage each other in our Christian walk. If we serve together, we are able to encourage each other. This is where community will be built. In most churches, trivial things create antagonism between age-groups. If we can agree to differ on the minor things and work together on the important things, this antagonism will disappear.
We should be aspiring to genuine unity rather than mere “similarity”, because God sees beneath the surface even if we can’t.
David Pullar is a 23 year old government policy advisor involved in young adults ministry in Canberra, Australia . He is working alongside his church to extend its ministries into the community in real, non-program-driven ways and likes hanging out with unchurched people and getting to know what's on their hearts. He is saddened by judgmentalism, small-mindedness and resistance to change. He also believes that the ability to laugh at yourself is the most essential provision when stepping out for Christ. |
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Without claiming to be any kind of expert on this topic, I've seen this done effectively in two ways:
Firstly, I think worship can be taught. Worship as "4 songs before the sermon, 2 after" is so accepted within the traditional church that leaders often assume everyone understands worship. Yet most people would benefit greatly from teaching on the varieties of expression that can constitute worship and the possibility of healing, prophecy and community-building that arises from intimate communion with our Creator.
Secondly, leaders can model worship "from the front". I've seen leaders who make themselves vulnerable and open to the working of the Spirit in public (even to the point where they might look foolish), which can be very powerful. It's a big shift away from the traditional role of church leaders and takes humility, but it's achievable.
This can also involve deliberately breaking down the artifice of worship-as-performance - by the band stopping playing, by silence, by ending and starting at surprising times. This shows the congregation that the format may be changing, but that the real business of worship goes on.
Can you please elaborate on "The leadership should focus on getting the congregation to commune with God in a way that is meaningful, rather than a routine or a performance." What are some ways the leadership can get the congregation to do this?
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Firstly, I think worship can be taught. Worship as "4 songs before the sermon, 2 after" is so accepted within the traditional church that leaders often assume everyone understands worship. Yet most people would benefit greatly from teaching on the varieties of expression that can constitute worship and the possibility of healing, prophecy and community-building that arises from intimate communion with our Creator.
Secondly, leaders can model worship "from the front". I've seen leaders who make themselves vulnerable and open to the working of the Spirit in public (even to the point where they might look foolish), which can be very powerful. It's a big shift away from the traditional role of church leaders and takes humility, but it's achievable.
This can also involve deliberately breaking down the artifice of worship-as-performance - by the band stopping playing, by silence, by ending and starting at surprising times. This shows the congregation that the format may be changing, but that the real business of worship goes on.