For most of us in the "normal" world the discussion of all sin being equal is a fairly short one and the discussion usually centers on petty examples that we are willing to admit. It might venture into premarital sex or shoplifting or if someone is extremely open may go into some drug use. Yes, these are all great examples of us trying to see if our sins are equal such as what James 2:10 says "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it."

It seems to be a natural human instinct to compare ourselves to each other. Much like in school we wanted to make sure that we weren't on the bottom of the social ladder, as long as we were ahead of someone we felt much better.  Sometimes it is the same way in our Christian faith, as much as we try to focus on God's grace and how it is not about our trying to be good enough, the natural human instinct seems to say things like, "Well at least I'm not as bad as that guy."  We do try to use our own goodness as our right to God's grace and acceptance.

As interesting as it is for us "normal" people to talk about this, it is very enlightening to hear this conversation happen in prison. It happened in the class I teach at a prison just this last week.

Picture for a moment 30 men sitting in a circle. All in traditional khaki prison garb, some young African American fellows with gold teeth, the two white men sitting to my right both over the age of 50 looking extremely out of place and me in the middle.  The gentleman who had been on death row until last May asked me, "Does God look at me any different because I killed three people, than

© Victoria Alexandrova | Dreamstime.com

he does this man (motioned his arm toward another) who raped someone, or this other man who killed only one?"

God's grace puts us all in the same boat. Yes, I strongly believe that I am no better than anyone I talk to in prison.  Even as I talked to the men last week I am constantly reminded that my faith is going to be stretched and poked. I am not going to be allowed to make up policies about people and how God sees them.  It is easy for me to say I am for the death penalty or against it, as though it were a political discussion to pick a side of. It is is easy to say that God loves this type of person or that type of person. But it gets a little more sticky when you start to meet the ones that had always been "those people."

I have absolute compassion for all the people that the crimes of these men affected. There are people who cry themselves to sleep each night, crying over the loved ones they have lost. But I am also getting to know men sitting in prison who have no one visit them, who will never see the light of day.  I'm hearing their questions.

It is very easy to think that we can be the dispenser of God's grace - this person deserves it; this person doesn't.  I decide, based on my feelings the extenuating circumstances in one man's life is worthy of God's love but not worthy over here, in another example.  It's all so easy and academic until I can put faces and stories over-top of the stereotypes.

I am so glad that God takes care of doling out grace because there is no way that I, or anyone else, could do it in a way that was reasonable or good to all of God's creation.

Ben Polhemus is married to Jill and has Kyle, Ellyse, and Ayden.  He currently serves on staff at Liberty Bible Church in Chesterton, IN and is the manager of the Portage Resale Shop. He visits prison in his spare time.